Open Relationship

What is an open relationship? It depends on who’s answering. There are two different definitions. The first says “open relationship” is an umbrella term that encapsulates all other forms of non-monogamy, like monogam-ish, swingers, and polyamory. The idea is that monogamous means closed, and all types of nonmonogamous relationships are open. The second (and more common) definition, says that open relationships are one type of non-monogamous relationship under the Ethical Non-Monogamous umbrella. Here, usually, open relationships are thought to occur between two people in a primary relationship who have agreed to open up their relationship sexually — but not romantically. So, while “open relationship” always suggests that the relationship exists outside the ''One Person Is My Everything'' framework (aka monogamy), to find out exactly what someone means by it, you gotta ask.

Reasons you might consider an open relationship:

• You and your partner both have a lot of love to give and believe you can love more than one person at once.
• You want to explore your sexuality or sexual relationships with someone of a different gender or just someone else.
• You and your partner want more freedom and autonomy
• You want to experience emotional, physical and-or sexual fulfillment from (an)other partner(s)
• You and your partner have a case of mismatched libidos.
• One partner is asexual and not interested in sex, and the other would like to have sex.
• One partner has a particular kink or fantasy that they want to explore that the other has no interest in.
• Seeing (or hearing about) your partner have sex with someone else turns you on, or vice versa.
• And more!

How do you know if it’s right for you?

Unfortunately, determining if an open relationship is right for you (or right for you and your partner) isn’t as easy as taking an online quiz and taking the answers at face value.

Start by identifying why you’re monogamous and what that means for you. What messages about monogamy did you receive growing up?

Ask yourself why you’re interested in opening your relationship. Is it because you’ve developed feelings for someone else and would like to act on them? Is it because you or your partner have a lot of needs that might be better met by more than one person?

Now allow yourself to imagine what your life might look like if you were in an open relationship. Get detailed. Where will you live? Will there be children? Will your partner also have other partners? What kinds of sex will you explore? What kind of love? How does this fantasy make you feel?

Next, learn more about ethical non-monogamy. Start by reading about open relationships and polyamorous literature, going to polyamorous meet up groups, and following folks who practice ethical nonmonogamy.

Now, is it something you want to adress your partner still? 

If you've been thinking about opening up your relationship, it can feel intimidating to talk to your partner about it. But having an honest and open communication is the key to making sure that both are on the same page. Again, there is not a magic formula to it, but here are some tips on how to address the topic;

1. Explain Your Reasons: Before plunging into the conversation, take some time AGAIN to think about why you want to explore an open relationship. Knowing what you want, and being able to articulate it clearly, will help your partner understand where you’re coming from.

2. Emphasize Communication: Open relationships require a lot of ongoing communication. Stress the importance of communication, so that both partners can remain connected and ensure that both their needs are met.

3. Respect Boundaries: It's important to respect your partner’s boundaries and make sure that your boundaries are respected as well. Talk about any apprehensions and how you can create a safe and secure environment within the relationship.

4. Be Patient: Your partner may need some time to adjust to the idea of an open relationship. Give them space and be patient while they process their feelings.

By approaching the topic of an open relationship with patience, understanding and respect, you can foster an atmosphere of trust and honesty between you and your partner, and create a healthy and fulfilling relationship. But don't forget that you can't force anyone to get on that train if it's not theirs. Respect their choice.

Source: https://www.healthline.com/health/open-relationship